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Every week I have to venture into the serious side of sleeplessness. What you should do, what you should not do. Don’t use this, don’t do that. Helping people fall asleep is a tough business especially when it seems that every article I read tells me the dangers of insomnia. I get it already and so do the majority of our readers!

So for today’s newsletter I wanted to put that all aside and share with you tales that will make your hair curl, stand on end, and keep you awake until the sun comes up. Ready for a little Halloween fun?

The Face In The Window

I don’t know why I looked up, but when I did I saw him there. He stood against my window. His forehead rested against the glass, and his eyes were still and light and he smiled a lipstick-red, cartoonish grin. And he just stood there in the window.

My wife was upstairs sleeping, my son was in his crib and I couldn’t move I froze and watched him looking past me through the glass. Oh, please no. His smile never moved but he put a hand up and slid it down the glass, watching me. With matted hair and yellow skin and face through the window. I couldn’t do anything. I just stayed there, frozen, feet still in the bushes I was pruning, looking into my home. He stood against my window.

I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”

The Cell Phone

Last night a friend rushed me out of the house to catch the opening act at a local bar’s music night.

After a few drinks I realized my phone wasn’t in my pocket. I checked the table we were sitting at, the bar, the bathrooms, and after no luck I used my friend’s phone to call mine.

After two rings someone answered, gave out a low raspy giggle, and hung up. They didn’t answer again. I eventually gave it up as a lost cause and headed home. I found my phone laying on my night stand, right where I left it.

A Quiet Cabin Deep In The Woods

My wife was shaking me quietly. I looked around the cabin. The girls must have gone to bed. The fire had burned down to embers. My glass of scotch was still in my hand. “Something is tapping on the porch.” Then I heard it too. I grabbed my ax and lit the lantern.

I opened the door expecting a raccoon or a skunk, but instead found a boy of about 10 years old.

He stared at me petrified for a moment, then bolted down the path through the woods. I gave chase. He was losing me but I heard him tumble to the ground. I leapt on top of him in a rage.

“Why were you knocking on my porch?” I screamed. “My uncles told me to.” He stammered. I was no longer angry, but confused. “But why?” I asked. “To get you out of the cabin.”

Just a few light bedtime stories to keep you company while you try to sleep.

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